It feels like Vegas is just around the corner. 400 Dollars in donations already and now I need you guys to step it up JUST a little bit. I took on 10,000 more in debt for this new Prius, so keep the donations up. I've decided Vegas is going to be a 3 or 4 day trip. If you're interested in coming or watching the big spin, email me and let me know. I've already got about 10 people who are going to join me. The more the merrier.
Read more...I'm a 30 year old guy and I'm really not looking for anyone on here at all. Let me tell you why, I can tell you exactly how meeting you will go from here. You'll email, spark my interest a little bit, we'll exchange pictures. We'll then proceed to start talking on AIM or some other instant messenger. We'll have great conversations before one of us will finally bring up talking on the phone. You'll have a really cute voice and as always we'll have a great time talking. After a day or two of pseudo awkward conversation(because we're both really just waiting for the right time to schedule a date), one of us will ask the other one for coffee, dinner, a beer, or just to hang out for a little bit. We'll both get excited and possibly even a little nervous right before we meet each other. Then come the variables. One of the following scenarios is bound to happen.
A. You will look nothing like the pictures you sent because you are much heavier than your pictures let on.
B. You will have an annoying laugh and use it ALL the time. This will just piss me off.
C. You will have some physical deformity that you should have otherwise disclosed, like maybe only 4 toes or maybe you have a third nipple located right between your eyes.
D. You will have no direction at all in life, not have finished school and work in a dead end minimum wage job and want to complain about how your life is terrible when it wouldn't really be that hard to fix.
E. You will be everything I've ever wanted in a girlfriend and I will be everything you've ever wanted in a GOOD friend.
F. I'll tell an off color joke, like I usually do, you will get offended and go on and on about the plight of the type of person I just made fun of. I will inform you it was just a joke and you will tell me that "just a joke" can cause irreperable harm to the cause of their movement.
G. You will tell me you really like me, but because I'm Jewish, I will not be able to get into heaven and spend eternity with you. Besides, if we had kids how would we raise them? You want to provide our future children with a united front on religion. Oh, and fuck you because THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN OUR FIRST FUCKING DATE, WHY ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT KIDS AND ETERNITY.
H. You will be a vegan and hate me for eating meat. I will take you on a date and order the veal.
I. You will flat out be psychotic and tell me that everyone else is psychotic.
J. You will be depressed and SO happy that I've given you a chance and tell me that we are soulmates, we will proceed to sleep together on the first date because thats how much you love me after knowing me for 2 hours and you wont understand when I say I don't want you to actually stay the night. Or I will let you stay the night to not piss you off and you wont understand why two people who are so incredibly connected aren't talking every thirty minutes.
K. We will date for 2 or 3 weeks and every time we start making out you will deny any further advances telling me, waiting for sex is better, which while I agree with that mentality, you will start accusing me of only being interested in sex. You will forget the fact that as we're making out heavily on the couch or bed, that certain things start to happen and that, being a man, when I have a raging hardon from making out with you I am not always thinking logically.
L. You will not be cultured at all. You will have been out of the country once and try to tell me that you understand exactly what its like for me having lived out of the country for 12 years of my life. You will then proceed, everytime I talk about my childhood, to relate it to your fucking spring break in Mexico. You will then tell me you love Asian Cuisine and tell me about how you LOVE this little Chinese restaurant, it is wonderful and authentic. I will shell out 5.99 for the dinner buffet and have the shits the rest of the night.
M. You will have an STD.
N. You will find this posting offensive.
O. You will have daddy issues that stop you from getting close to someone.
P. We will date for a few weeks. You will then let me know about some other guy that hurt you that is coming back into your life, even though he won't date you. You will then dump me because he reminds you of your dad and you ALSO have daddy issues.
Q. You will have a drug problem.
R. When I do get in your pants I will find a that you haven't trimmed your pubes since you started growing them. You will then show me how cute it is if you braid them.
S. You will date me for a few weeks and then cheat on me, I will forgive you, you will swear it wont happen again. It will because you still have daddy issues.
T. You will not understand the simple things in life, like what prawn are. Maybe you will do the world a favor and stop understanding how to breathe.
U. You will be dumb. Not just slow, but bordering on retarded. Conversations with you will be like conversations with a brick. The brick will actually be more interesting.
V. You will hate the fact that I smoke cigarettes. You will try to make me stop smoking. Your whole life will be about changing me and molding me into your perfect signifigant other. Instead you should focus on not being such a controlling bitch.
W. You will get behind stupid causes that have no real relevance to you. For instance, you will want to save the snow crab and try to get me to protest with you outside of red lobster. Actually you'll probably be a PETA activist and when I tell you about things PETA does and show you documentation, you will tell me that I just don't understand.
X. You will tell me gender is a social stratification. You won't know what stratification means.
Y. You will not like my friends, I know they aren't all perfect, but they are there for me when I need them to be. You will get mad that everyonce in a while I want a boys night out, it doesn't mean I'm going looking for ass, it means I'm hanging out with the boys. You will have no friends.
Z. I just wont be into you, you wont be able to hold my attention for more than 5 dates and you will start to annoy me.
So honestly people, please don't respond to this. Don't think that you'll fall outside of this box, because chances are YOU WONT. It will be a waste of my money on the date and a waste of both of our time for however long we decide to carry the gay charade on. One or both of us will both inevitably wind up being hurt and the other one will lose a few minutes sleep over it. It's better if we don't even enter into this little dance at all.
I decided to pick up a nice wine for the birthday girl Ashton. Cisco green apple was so terrible that I had to get everyones reaction to it on film.
Wow, talk about a hell of a week. Thursday, I had to go out of town for a job interview for a promotion to a supervisor position which looked like a pretty darned good fit for me. I traveled to and from Greenville SC and back. Then on Friday I got in my car to head into work and about 2 miles into my drive I hear a sputtering and my engine quits on me. They weren't sure what happened, but they were sure it wasn't going to work again without very costly repairs. So....new car time!
I decided to be practical and buy something used, but that gets good gas mileage. I spent 10K and am now the proud new owner of a used Prius. I have to say the Prius is freaking awesome. There are some annoying features though...for instance the radio can only tune to NPR and the nav system on it will only recognize Whole Foods when I type in "supermarket". It also had an update that took all of the BP gas stations out of the nav system as well. Oh and it automatically gives way to bikes and people on segways.
That being said, if you have some extra money to donate to the site, my debt just grew by about 10K, so now, more than ever keep those donations coming. Oh and yeah, I got the call right as I signed the paperwork for the car "we aren't going to choose you for the promotion!" Hoooooray!
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