My latest comedy act 2/27/2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Stand up at Pantana Bobs in Raleigh
WE HAVE A WINNER
Good news!
Friday, February 26, 2010
I got my first Google Adsense payment (they pay out once a month). The total amount in this was 141.28. That puts me actually over 250 dollars that I've made in this month and a half. Keep up the donations and the good work and maybe I'll have a couple thousand dollars to put on black!
Read more...Choose your own adventure (sort of)
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Really I just need to know if I should use either of these jokes in my next stand up routine. Comment, let me know what you think
So there's all this debate on sex education in the US, use abstinence or teach safe sex. If they just taught all the boys in HS to play dungeons and dragons there wouldn't be an issue.
The other day I met this girl from the internet for drinks. When she arrived I was smoking and she told me she couldn't be with a smoker because she knew she'd outlive me, to which I replied "you meet guys on the internet, I don't think that'll be an issue".
Dumb people got no reason to live.
I'll never forget the comedy show I did on MLK Jr. day a few years back. First I told some jokes that I always tell, not to ruin the entire routine, I'll give you the clif notes.
"I dated this girl from Canada and I know you're thinking ,'why would you want to date one of our Mexicans to the north?' Well I'll tell you with the exchange rate in Canada one American dick is worth one and a half Canadian dicks, I've never felt so black in my entire life."
"So I got into a fight with my ex girlfriend, she actually beat me up. Then she called the cops and said I hit her, I've never been in a fight in my entire life. That night I went to jail for doing absolutely nothing, again never have I felt so black in my entire life."
After the show this 22 year old white hippie girl came up to me and said "You know, your racist jokes about colored people wont fly in this town."
Those were her words verbatim. First of all, I want to point out the fact that I noted two things.
1. Black guys have big dicks.
2. Black people get arrested for doing nothing in this country.
I don't think there's a single black person that takes offense to either of these jokes. What are they going to say "fuck you for saying that I have a big dick, you racist piece of shit." or maybe "I can't believe you admitted that racism actually happens in this country, we all know that ended when Obama took office."
Neither of these are plausible responses. No, leave it to privileged white hippie assholes that take issue with these statements. Regardless of her response I informed her that as a Jew I'm allowed to make fun of black people if I want to. The reason being that the Jews were kept as slaves by the blacks. She said she didn't believe me and I asked her who built the pyramids. She thought about this for a second and said "I don't think there were African-Americans in Egypt." No shit you dumb fuck, there was no America when the pyramids were built.
I hate dumb people. If you have a story of someone who was overly stupid and you want it posted on the internet for 10's of people to see, email me at 12konblack@gmail.com and if I deem it worthy I will post it!
My roommate
Monday, February 22, 2010
I have an Indian roommate, he's a pretty cool guy. Actually he came on the ski trip with us and fell a record 21 times, you'll see that in the videos at some point I'm sure.
Anyway he's a software engineer and is constantly working on his projects, even when he's not at work. I know you're all thinking "an Indian software engineer/troubleshooter? Unheard of" Well, you're probably thinking the opposite, but still I wonder, if his job was outsourced to India do you think he could get his own job back at half the pay? Probably.
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